Well, I'm out in the country trying to regroup a bit after two months that were more stressful even than I've admitted to myself or anyone else while they were happening! The issue being that my summer job took up a lot more time and energy than it has done in previous years - more students, more issues generally, a lot of uncertainty about aspects of the course plus the need to set an exam and plan revision. The exam marking in a week's time looks like a breeze in comparison to the rest of it, and if you've heard me whinge about marking you'll know how serious that is. Anyway, I've had a day and a half of just pottering around and (literally and metaphorically) getting air, making vague (for now) work plans, touching up my roots (an inch of brown stuff, that's way more than I normally allow) and generally decompressing and being relieved. I'm not sure I know what an un-stressed me looks like any more, but if I can catch a glimpse of that mythical being before my thesis reaches the last stage of urgency it will be great.

(HDG has more detail, and pics!)

Today was chosen because the bad bit of my period seems to be lasting an extra day. So here goes:

A weekend with Duckula that went, for the most part, pretty well

A minor improvement in my working conditions vis-a-vis marking

A small amount of research getting done, which at least shows that my brain is still somewhat alive

Duckula having his main stress resolved for the better and a couple of bits of good news (which also fit quite nicely with his visit to me next week!)

Keeping up with the small tasks that diminish my quality of life quite rapidly if not done (eg laundry, cooking proper food)

Getting class prep out of the way for the rest of this term and also managing a few job apps

Getting through an evening alone that had the potential to be stressful

Remaining on a largely even keel emotionally despite pms and period

The fact that most of the stressy patches I've had over the last week have been resolved fairly easily with small things

Today has been chosen because it was poo enough that I need a week's worth of good stuff to redeem it! Also because after a fair amount of stress I now need to get in the mood for a full research day tomorrow and a trip to visit Ducki on Friday, which includes meeting several of his friends and his mum. So here goes:
-Being with Duckula so much (two weekends running), which makes up for the long break when he was away at conferences.
-A nice trip to my local on Friday night
-A goth night on Saturday night
-Looking pretty good for the goth night, although the photos I got Ducki to take didn't come out so there is no real evidence
-Eating properly (rather than giving in to stress and starving or stuffing my face with crisps and biscuits)
-Getting a lot of walking in
-My class yesterday going better than I'd thought it might in the circumstances
-Cutting my nails - they looked great long and painted, but it was getting to the stage where they didn't feel so great for typing or doing other practical stuff around the house.
-Catching up on laundry this evening: I like the smell of basic non-bio washing powder, and also the prospect of having clean clothes.

Ok, I have somewhere else to post these lists, but plan to do a roundup here every so often. And since this afternoon is likely to be stressful (dealing with students who had their class cancelled last week), I thought now would be a good time to start.

So, things that made me happy in the last week:
Being back to normal (in contact terms) with Duckula and handling the weekends he was away reasonably well. This gives me the idea that I will be able to handle it next time, without being as freaked out beforehand.
Largely keeping up with the walking.
Blu's visit on Friday, despite the weather.
Not only avoiding stimuli that upset me, but also not feeling any urge to seek them out.
Being able to ward off most of the small panics and freakouts of the last week by doing something small (playing with makeup, taking random photos around the house) to distract myself.
Having the confidence, albeit slightly shaky, to post photos of myself on HDG and my facebook page and not worry too much about the negative things people may think.
A productive day of work yesterday and getting more done than I'd expected this morning.
Being able to do anything useful this morning rather than panicking about this afternoon's class.
The prospect of a long weekend with Duckula, especially as he's coming to my place and we're going to a goth night and probably my favourite pub.

No not *that* sort - what do you think I get up to when Ducki is away?!? No, the title refers to the first appearance of the electric fan in my living room. It took me a few hot days to realise that the thing I'd bought as a heater in the winter actually had a cold air function, and until now I've been content to leave it in the bedroom (where it lived from October to keep me warm while getting dressed) and use it to air the place for a bit each night before trying to sleep. Today, however, having the openable windows open wasn't enough, even if I did find the ventilation hatch on the landing skylight. (the living room windows probably *do* open, but sodded if I can work out how!) So I removed the piles of newspapers from around the coffee table (funny how they get dropped there rather than miraculously flying to the recycling area), excavated the electric socket and plugged the fan in. It has pride of place on the coffee table and has improved things a lot!

A list of good things (in no particular order):


I have warded off any actual meltdowns or freakouts despite it being the first day of my period and Ducki being largely out of contact for the next two days.
I smell nice, due to having had a lavendar-scented bath and made liberal use of the perfume my mother brought back from France. (which is meant to be poppy-flavoured but doesn't smell like an actual one, I like it though) The perfume isn't making me sneeze.
I am going to start doing poi again even if I have to fashion makeshift ones using tennis balls and socks.
There is a good chance that I will see my best friend in a little under a week.
Then I will have a long weekend with Duckula less than a week after that.
I am starting to see exercise (of the fairly tame variety - walking when in Notm, bit of cycling in the Duckarchy, plus poi) as something pleasurable that I do because I want to rather than to punish myself for anything.
Because I've been exercising more, I can eat things like dumplings (of the English variety, but vegetarian) and chocolate Swedish Glace without hating myself afterwards.
And, I have found some nice walks around my part of Nottingham. I didn't know until the other week that a railway line ran so close to where I live! Or that there were nice leafy paths between my road and the next major one that runs parallel.
I am making positive plans for the future instead of sitting on my arse worrying about it.

Should I feel bad that I want to be on here? Ok, my day-to-day look is a whole lot more practical than the folks on here - right now I am wearing a black t-shirt and loose black linen trousers, with dye-covered hair piled on top of my head, and my going-out clothes involve enough cleavage and fishnet-age to ward off any thoughts of overheating, and my normal concession to summer is a tube of factor 50 and a huge floppy black sunhat. And I know that the site is to a great extent taking the piss out of goths. But still, I WANT!

Awkward first post time! Never sure what to say in these things...

Me: LiseyDuck, 28, vegan goth duck fanatic with coffee addiction.
Other half: Duckula, 27, not a vegan and doesn't drink coffee but is slowly starting to appreciate the wonders of the duck world and has introduced me to the best goth night i've been to in years. (and he makes me coffee, sometimes scantily clad, which I appreciate more because coffee isn't an automatic part of his routine!)
Occupation: academic odd-job person in fraught writing-up phase. My PhD is on the border of social movements research and ideology studies, which you'd think would double my chances of getting a job, but sadly it doesn't work like that. I teach first years at my 'native' university and overseas graduate diploma students elsewhere. I also mark exam scripts and do random bits of publicity work (which occasionally involves having pics of Mrs Thatcher on my computer and feeling dirty as a result) at one place, and personal tutoring at the other. Again, in an ideal world this wealth of experience would give me a good chance of finding a full-time job, but we don't live in an ideal world...
Hobbies: don't have time for any serious ones, so mainly knitting and reading murder mysteries. I also like walking around and taking pictures of random stuff like the metal pipes outside my classroom window. I cook a lot and experiment with recipes, not sure that is a hobby so much as an attempt at a varied diet!
Favourite animal: can't you tell? (quack quack) In addition to our feathered friends, I also have a soft spot for rabbits and cats. I'm less keen on pigeons due to their tendency to hang around my skylight and watch me get dressed, and to press their arses against the glass so the first thing I see in the morning is a feathered bum-oley. Suffice it to say I need an extra cup of coffee to recover! (There are a lot of factors in my life that require an extra cup of coffee to recover, come to think of it...)
Weird quirks: I have a high tolerance for eating raw garlic, although would never do so on days where I have to interact with people or use public transport. (which as Duckula lives in a different city I have to do fairly often) I like eye make-up and frequently take photos of my eye after applying it. I have started to quite like displays of chivalry from Duckula, but find it annoying and incomprehensible from anyone else. I sometimes use food (cake and biscuits rather than raw garlic!) as a teaching aid.
Anything else? Just ask...